There are only a few days left for our daughter’s first birthday as of August 2019 and five months ago I got the opportunity of being a stay home dad and it has imprinted so many beautiful memories that I will cherish forever. Now the time has come to quit. This has come with so many emotions that I have had to deal with. I have had to accept that life has to move on and not to take the time spent with my daughter for granted. There have been moments of joy all the way regardless of the endless sleepless nights and tiresomeness. It has all summed up into a beautiful, happy, smart and contented baby girl. I am not quitting being a hands on dad despite the fact that I have to go back and work. I guess this is a continuation of my previous post The 10 Things Being A Stay At Home Dad Has Taught Me .
Parenthood changes us and regardless how heartless one could be, there is something about babies that changes us from self-centeredness to realize that life does not rotate around us anymore. Two weeks ago we had to hire a nanny to start looking after our daughter and my wife was really into it but I was just worried about how I will miss being with our daughter having stayed at home with her in the past. I was afraid of letting anyone else rent space in our daughter’s life other than my wife and I.
Now, here are more lessons I have learnt since my previous post.
I never knew how attached I could be to my daughter, I grew up strong willed and I always thought emotional people were weak. The only time I expressed my emotions was when I saw a big bike or a landrover (mainly defenders) and a few precious moments in life of course. But staying at home with my daughter has brought out the hidden emotions I never knew I had. I have cried when she was not well, I have laughed like crazy listening to her baby talk. I cherished the mornings we used to spend at the park everyday.
I never knew I had any “attachment issues” until the last few weeks on our summer vacation in Uganda. I didn’t see any of my close friends because I didn’t want to miss moments my wife and daughter. Every time I had to leave them it felt like life was empty until I realized that I was just dealing with attachment issues. I guess that’s a healthy issue though.
It has exposed a certain selfishness in me where all that I think and talk about is my family. While I was having coffee with one of my cousins in Kampala whom I hadn’t met for the past twenty years all I was talking about was my daughter. I don’t remember if I heard any thing he said. When I got home, my wife asked how the meeting was. Truthfully I couldn’t remember what we talked about apart from me telling him how my daughter had started walking and how she smiles and claps every morning when she wakes up.
In conclusion, children are a beautiful gift from God and are meant to be cherished and enjoyed. Now I am going back to work in September 2019, I am so grateful for having been a stay at home dad. Life is full of beautiful moments and I will never ever regret having stayed with my daughter for those few months. It also gave us time to go away as a family to Zanzibar, Uganda and Uk. Our girl is now a traveler like her parents.